The Search

How did it all began…the journey began as most journey’s do, rather slowly and not necessarily did I realize I was going on a literal and metaphorical journey. I just knew I needed a change, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to change, how I wanted to change, or what I was thinking of changing, I just knew that life could not continue as it currently was.

The first tiny step was signing up for the wellness program at work, sure I wear my standardized Fitibit and have educated myself on nutrition and how to feed my body, but I was finding it easier to not care, to not do any of the things I knew were necessary for me to be living my best life. But I love checklist and going in everyday and clicking the boxes. This fateful day the daily message said “Try Something New like Kickboxing”, now I had looked up kickboxing before, when I get a moment of motivation to work toward a better life, but those moments were fleeting and assisted by the fact that there were no studio close….but today when I hit the google search a new studio three blocks away had opened. So I signed up for the three class trial, made the orientation appointment and walked the three blocks to begin a fitness journey that was needed but more than that, necessary. I had full faith I could do this, I’ve taken loads of kickboxing classes, I’ve been in shape, really good shape before; that this time was eight years prior seemed to have eluded me. I had no doubt I could rock this, I am capable, I am able, they are going to be shocked at how amazing I am, I was convinced this was going to be like Rocky walking into the ring I signed up before even taking a class for a year.

Then the class began, then I had to sit down, then I couldn’t quite catch my breathe, then I worked so hard I swear my bones were sore for three days…and then…and then….and then. It took six months for it to get it easier, it took six months for it not to be so hard I could make it the full hour without a break, it took SIX MONTHS for me not to feel like I was going into a pit…all the time.